I was talking to an associate of mine the other day. Of course we eventually got onto life experiences and we posed questions about various scenarios in our lives. I gave her an example of a couple of friendships I had within and out of my family. Although I no longer had a ‘friendship’ with these two people, deep down I still had some hurt about how our friendships ended. In the end, I realized that I ‘FELT’ I needed closure to move past the hurt of the dissolution of the associations. Wow….
Yes…AACK, I hate to admit it but this blog is about truth. I was (am) one of those people who just had to know why things within a deep/ long term friendship or relationship ended with no ‘visible’ reason. I’ve learned that needing closure is really about finding it within yourself. If your attempts to reconcile weren’t matched then it’s time to let it go. Besides, you really need to ask yourself WHY you want to reconcile? Is it for selfish reasons? And ask yourself what is it that this person brought to your life that you feel you can’t have without them?
Eventually you get to a point where you do have to ‘respect yourself’ enough to know what works for you in life, friendships, career moves and familial obligations. To some degree if you aren’t happy in your life, then you really have to check yourself and ask why. Sure other people may be to blame but ultimately, when you point the finger at someone, 3 are pointing back at you. I used to hate this cliche’ saying but if you dig deeper, it’s somewhat true.
Think about it, no one can make you do or say anything in your life (unless you’re physically coerced LOL) that you don’t want to or allow them to do. So if you allow someone to smoke in your home even though you have crazy allergies, then do you expect them to KNOW you don’t want that in your home? And if you tell them and they throw a fit or clown you about your ‘ways’. Then they just don’t respect your position.
So who’s really responsible for happiness and closure in your life? If you’re in an unhappy situation or relationship, then maybe it’s true that misery loves company. As people we tend to draw near those who are a reflection of ourselves or who we hope to be. Hmmm.
Ultimately, finding happiness and closure is about self-acceptance and faith that everything happens for a reason and that it’s happening for your good. So believe that and maybe, just maybe life will be a little be brighter for you too!
Do any of you have any experiences where you thought you needed closure from the other person but in the end you found it within yourself?
Filed under: Spiritual Nuggets
